Conflicted about my orientation and don’t know what to do
I’m a 19-year-old from a fairly conservative environment, and lately I’ve been struggling with some confusion about my feelings and identity. Realizing that I may not fit the image I always had of myself has been emotionally difficult and honestly a little frightening.
Looking back, I think these feelings may have started around high school because of one particular person, and over time I began noticing a pattern in the way I emotionally connect to certain people and situations. At the core of it, I think what I’ve really been longing for is emotional closeness, comfort, and genuine affection.
This whole experience has been overwhelming and confusing for me, especially because I’ve spent a long time trying to understand whether these feelings reflect attraction, emotional attachment, or simply a desire to feel accepted and understood.
I’m not looking for hookups or explicit advice. More than anything, I’m trying to understand how other people emotionally processed these kinds of realizations when they first experienced them. Did the fear and self-judgment eventually calm down? Is this something more people go through than I realize?