u/Arschgeige96

Please be constructive, I know I’m in the wrong. I’m 29F. I also understand if it’s not relevant to the sub so delete if necessary.

I’ve been reflecting as I’ve lost a lot of friendships since around 2020, like a disproportionate amount, one of which was an 18 year long one. I lost a whole group once and I think I’m about to lose another after only five months of knowing them. I’m seeing the signs.

The feedback I’ve had from those willing to give me it over the years was that I talk about people behind their backs a lot, make insensitive comments and jokes, and have leaked the odd secret. People have said I’m untrustworthy, unpredictable and intense. I particularly struggle with female friendships, male ones I haven’t really had any issues with.

I have recently handled a couple situations with my colleague/friend very poorly and insensitively and I’ve noticed since then my friends at work have been replying less to my messages and avoiding me. I know the conversation is coming soon if they’re in a place to tell me. I really didn’t want to screw this one up as they’re fantastic people.

Alongside this, I’ve been so ridiculously impulsive that it’s affected my health. I’m riddled with dental problems, am obese, have bowel problems and kidney issues due to the fact I just don’t eat right or take care of myself.

I’m single and still living at home. I have traveled quite a lot which is amazing, but I have no savings. I have made several very poor financial decisions. I was in credit card and overdraft debt for years but I managed to get myself out of it. I did burn out in the process though.

At my age it’s not cute anymore and some of the crazy stories I have are not quirky, they’re just embarrassing. I do not like who I’ve become.

I have had a lot of therapy (I have a bad anxiety disorder and am more than likely neurodivergent but undiagnosed) and it’s helped me with some things but this is an issue that I need to fix myself.

Any ideas or advice?

Please be constructive, I know I’m in the wrong. I’m 29F.

I’ve been reflecting as I’ve lost a lot of friendships since around 2020, like a disproportionate amount, one of which was an 18 year long one. I lost a whole group once and I think I’m about to lose another after only five months of knowing them. I’m seeing the signs.

The feedback I’ve had from those willing to give me it over the years was that I talk about people behind their backs a lot, make insensitive comments and jokes, and have leaked the odd secret. People have said I’m untrustworthy, unpredictable and intense. I particularly struggle with female friendships, male ones I haven’t really had any issues with.

I have recently handled a couple situations with my colleague/friend very poorly and insensitively and I’ve noticed since then my friends at work have been replying less to my messages and avoiding me. I know the conversation is coming soon if they’re in a place to tell me. I really didn’t want to screw this one up as they’re fantastic people.

Alongside this, I’ve been so ridiculously impulsive that it’s affected my health. I’m riddled with dental problems, am obese, have bowel problems and kidney issues due to the fact I just don’t eat right or take care of myself.

I’m single and still living at home. I have traveled quite a lot which is amazing, but I have no savings. I have made several very poor financial decisions. I was in credit card and overdraft debt for years but I managed to get myself out of it. I did burn out in the process though.

At my age it’s not cute anymore and some of the crazy stories I have are not quirky, they’re just embarrassing. I do not like who I’ve become.

I have had a lot of therapy (I have a bad anxiety disorder and am more than likely neurodivergent but undiagnosed) and it’s helped me with some things but this is an issue that I need to fix myself. Anybody have any experiences of fixing this within themselves or know someone who has? Any tips?