Any advice welcome. I have been a SM to my SD for 5 years now and she has lived with me and my SO for 3 years. SD is 7yrs old and of course still doesn’t fully understand the situation between my SO and BM.
BM can be very all over the place, one minute is my friend and will communicate to co-parent, the other she hates my guts and likes to throw the “parental responsibility” card at me. I have always tried to see things from her perspective, not overstep the mark and try to do what’s best for the child. Unfortunately, BM will tell my SD that I’m horrible, that she hates me, and in general things that a child just doesn’t need to hear. As of late, BM has demanded that she has 50/50 care (SO has never stopped this) and that she only wants to communicate with my SO (again, this has never not been okay, and BM chose to only speak to me for about a year) but BM is now sending messages to my SO saying that I’m not allowed to discipline the child, I’m not allowed to take the child out, I’m not allowed to speak to the school or take the child to the doctor. Now I know, from a parental point of view I can understand, but the BM for the past 3 years has wanted nothing to do with important things regarding the child, and it has all been down to me and my SO. A lot of stuff has happened over the years with things the BM has done that were not great for the child. My SD only lives with me and my SO because the BM could not cope or want to have the child.
I guess I’m just trying to say I feel so deflated and depressed and wonder if I made the wrong decision all those years ago. I knew being a SM would be hard, but I never expected the constant battle with the BM. I grew up with a SM myself and she and my mum get on great. I just want what’s best for the child and it feels like no matter what I do, the BM will always try to sabotage it. Sorry for the long rant - think I needed to get it off my chest.