My brain is messed up
I’m ugly af. 26f. Always have been, have always been told I’m ugly especially by men both to my face and behind my back.
No one is interested in me, no one wants me, I’m worthless. It makes me laugh. I losing my fucking shit everyday.
Get this, let’s say in some magical, mythical world I have a boyfriend. I won’t be happy. Why? Because I will always wonder why I wasn’t hot enough for a good looking boyfriend. I will always look for validation from other men. I’ll always look at us as a couple, and compare. Why can’t we be as good looking as other couples? Am I that ugly, that I can’t do any better?
I will never be happy. My brain is beyond fucked, it can never be fixed or repaired. Never. I will always compare myself to other women, I will always look for validation in other people, I will always look at good looking people, especially men, and wonder, why the fuck am I born this way? Why can’t I be one of the pretty girls that attracts good looking men?
I don’t care about personality anymore. My life has turned into a game. Who is the hottest man I can score? Obviously none since I’m ugly, but I’ll ALWAYS be on the look out.
My brain is so fucked and there is no fixing it. It will always be a competition for me.