Is my mentor a narcissist?
I am a mature age student studying a new career path, and am fortunate enough to have found a mentor to take me under his wing. This man is brilliant in his field, highly respected, charismatic and funny with clients and a wealth of knowledge.
Being his student however has not been what I expected!
I'm often greeted with "oh I forgot you were coming in", then he'll ignore me for an hour or so. He'll often give a one word answer if I ask a question, like it's "beneath him" to answer such a thing, OR I'll get a highly detailed and very complex answer that is well beyond my comprehension. He seems to enjoy that I look confused. When I've shown signs of enthusiasm or self direction (aka taken time to try and learn a concept) he's cut me down intellectually....as if to say ha you don't know what you're talking about! I've even had snarled looks of contempt at times. While being brilliant with clients to their faces, behind their backs he calls them retards and idiots. He also seems constantly in battle with people....contractors, landlords, anyone and everything. His life seems chaotic. My days with him are often spent listening to long monologues of him complaining about people and how they've wronged him. Or he just chats about himself and his life. He asks me nothing of my own life.
Writing this I think ew, run away now!! BUT there are times when he can be decent, he may take time to explain something to me. And at times his guard drops just for a moment and I see a vulnerable human under his exterior..He's also going through a lot in his personal life, so part of me is holding on in the hope once that calms down, he'll be calmer and more present.
Am I deluding myself here? Is he actually a narcissist and things will stay like this? I really really wanted to learn from this guy as he's the best in the field, but is wrecking havoc with my sense of self and my confidence.
thanks for those that read all the way to the end 💜