I was tortured by these people and my family keeps reminding me. They reinforce the schtick that I was the troublemaker who was always on PIPs. I’ve laid it out 1000 times but they ignore me and keep throwing jabs. Any advice for dealing with them? I feel ill about it.
I came from a previous job with a manager that would always shield me against dirty politics and supported my career growth and really enjoyed my time working there. My current boss at new company is the complete opposite. He’d use me as a political pawn and tell me to send nasty emails to teams that are doing poorly and cc a bunch of people for visibility. When I meet with these people, I can sense they do not like me and get combative for calling them out in an email with everyone included but I had to do what I had to do because that’s what my boss told me to do. Then whenever my boss speaks to these people individually or in a meeting he’d pretend he had no clue about the emails and praise their progress and work. It’s miserable working here because everyone hates me for doing what I’m told by narcissist boss.
I started a new role a few months ago (different industry to my previous one) and while I’m delivering and getting good feedback from peers, the management dynamic is doing my head in.
My direct manager is very “hands on” and tends to jump into meetings/threads and speak first or steer decisions, even when I’m across it. I had a calm chat about ownership and they stepped back for a while, but I’m noticing slow regressions again. It’s not always big stuff, but it’s enough that I feel like I’m constantly guarding my lane.
On top of that, my skip-level manager has made comments about wanting to see “more of me and less of my manager” and asked if I’m contributing enough in meetings, which has made me paranoid about optics. I now feel like I’m managing up to two people with different expectations.
I’m honestly exhausted. I’ve never had to work this hard just to be allowed to do my job. I want to learn and grow, but instead I’m spending energy on politics and preventing my manager from taking over.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? Is there a way to reset the dynamic without making it worse? At what point do you accept it’s just a bad fit and move on?
Keen for any perspective, especially if you’ve dealt with a “player-coach” manager who can’t let go.