So, there's me, 22F and him 23M.
We've been seeing each other for over a month now. I got his contact from my cousin, because he thought that 23M could be my type.
There we are, meeting. Me driving to his appartement. Everything seems fine, except I don't get the feelings I need. Those feelings you have, when you really start liking someone and can see a future. I don't have those.
Additionally there was last week. We went on a date, a restaurant and then back to his place. Yes, we slept with each other. It was kinda rough. I got so exhausted midway, but stillt enjoyed it? Then it came the moment, where I was sore, tired, exhausted.
I begged him to stop for a moment. He didn't say anything. I begged him again. No answer. Them I just repeatedly said 'please'. I couldn't move, as he was on top of me. My legs werte also not free and so were my arms. I couldn’t push him away.
So then I just gave up. He continued and the word 'rape' stumbled through my thoughts. He then stopped and I stumbled to the bathroom. He said, that he still didn’t finish and we have to do that. Me? I just stood in the bathroom and started crying. I didn’t know why, but I still cried, when I came back to the bedroom.
He asked me what’s wrong and I just couldn’t tell. Eventually I then was able to ask him, why he didn't stop, when I asked him so often to do so. He gave me no answer.
Later he asked me, if I am mad at him. Yeah, right. I am hurt, mad.
If I would've been able to walk normally and had a calm mind, I would've driven home. I stayed the night and then drove off in the morning. He didn't even want to let me go, kinda cute, but not with this backstory.
Now I don‘t know what to do. He wanted to meet me again this weekend, but I wasn't free. Now he keeps asking me, if I want so see him again and when I have time for him. He said I should take time for him. Honestly? It's not even a lie, as I have a busy job and a busy hobby, so I am not free until in 3-4 weeks. Obviously he's not happy with that.
So now to my question: Do I just break things off? I mean, I don't have big feelings for him, but I just feel so guilty, I don't know. How do I do it? How do I end it? Over text? The distance between us is a 1 hour drive by car, so we can’t just meet up spontaneously. Please help me, I am so confused.