I've been on birth control pills since I was 17. I'm 30 now and decided to come off birth control at the suggestion from my doctor because it was discovered I have severe B12 deficiency and she thought the birth control may be the cause of the deficiency.
Coming off of it has felt like I've woken back up in my body. Like I was a black and white TV show and everything is in color now. It's the same sensation I had when I first got glasses, amazement that you are supposed to see so clearly that you can make out each individual tree leaf.
I feel like it was a gradual loss of sharpness over the years and that is why I didn't realize how numb I had become.
I guess I'm just sad. Sad that I didn't get to be this person for the last decade. It was so subtle though that not even my husband really noticed. He just figured I work long hours at a high stress job it makes sense that I didn't want to talk or be touched, he thought I must need space, so he gave it to me. He gave me space for years and when I came off the pill it was like a light switch went off and now I want him around me all of the time.
I feel bad that he thought I didn't enjoy his company as much any more. I feel bad for myself too that I was so numb for so long.
I don't know I'm just sad about the lost time.