So my boyfriend (23) and I (20) have been together physically for 6 months now (we met online 2 years ago). He was my first and I have had this irrational fear of putting anything inside me.
He has been extremely patient with me throughout all our sexual interactions. However it was different for me. I was getting more and more impatient. Even though we kept trying, it felt like it was hopeless for me. I kept feeling miserable and thought something was wrong with me. We had a lot of foreplay and did other stuff, but not being able to take him was killing me from the inside.
We always tried with lube and whenever he tried to put it in, it would sort of burn/sting and felt extremely uncomfortable. But we kept trying every now and then. Once he was even able to get a finger in me, but it was a one time thing.
Finally, on this random day, we both just suddenly got horny out of nowhere and decided to do it. It felt a bit uncomfortable at first, but he talked me through it and I realised that I had nothing to be afraid of. He acted like a therapist while being inside me lol. He said stuff like “It doesn’t actually hurt baby, you’re just scared”. It just felt a bit tight, that’s all. It wasn’t going to hurt me. And ever since then, we have done it more often and I am getting used to it, to the point of enjoying it.
So here’s what I realised:
- I was always preparing myself for sex and shaved down there, put on new lingerie and stuff. However, when I realised he didn’t care about all that and just let myself actually get excited, it felt much easier. Doing it spontaneously is much better than waiting for the right time.
- As stupid as it sounds, just telling myself that it doesn’t actually hurt and that I can do it helped me.
- Breathe. A lot.
- We used lube but I also always make sure that I am wet enough down there.
- It felt weird at first because the pressure build up near my butt lmao. But I realised that just letting myself slowly get used to the pressure and the slight pain was better. Once my body knew that it was just exaggerating the pain, it could push through it.
- Also saying affirmative things to my partner like “I love you” or even some dirty talking helped.
Anyways, that was my experience. Hope it helps :)