Am I overreacting or is this a reasonable thing to lose attraction over and potentially break up?
Been dating a woman (both early 30s) for a few months (exclusive for two). Things have generally been good but she has quite an anxious/insecure side at times and we’ve had a few conversations about it before. Recently she had been feeling insecure and I’d been trying to reassure her.
A couple of days ago she sent me a screenshot of a guy she used to date messaging her saying he now wanted something serious and asking if she wanted to meet up. In the screenshot you could also see an older unanswered booty call text from him. She then told me he’d tried to booty call her like 5 times after she ended things and asked me what would be a “nice” response to send him.
I found the whole thing a bit cringe/show-offy but whatever. I replied pretty lightly/jokingly with emojis etc and didn’t make a big deal out of it.
But immediately after she started repeatedly asking me if everything was okay, saying I was giving weird vibes, asking if something was wrong etc. This continued throughout the evening even though I genuinely felt I was replying normally and keeping things light.
The next day I told her honestly that what bothered me wasn’t really the original message itself, but that it felt like she was trying to provoke/get a reaction out of me and then kept probing because she wasn’t getting one. I said I don’t appreciate those kinds of dynamics.
She completely denied this and said she’s always been able to talk about things like this with exes unless they were “jealous”, and that her asking if I was okay was actually about me seeming off over previous days (even though the questioning started literally during that conversation). She really couldn’t understand how that message could be meant to provoke a reaction.
What’s bothering me now is less the original message and more the feeling that:
- the message obviously came across as a bit validation-seeking / reaction-seeking and quite immature
- she can’t acknowledge at all why it would reasonably be interpreted that way
- she instead made me feel like I was the weird one for finding it odd.
And I am so put off right now I kind of want to break things off.
Am I overreacting here or does this dynamic sound off?
EDIT to give more context, here are the messages. I am really hoping people convince me I am overreacting
