I don't really know who else to tell this to, cause it feels so raw right now, but I've been questioning my sexuality for months to the point where I was having literal panic attacks. If you frequent this sub, you might have seen some of my posts and maybe even responded to them.
But after a lot of thought and honesty with myself, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm "gay with exceptions", the exceptions being fem presenting people who I've developed a very strong emotional connection to. It makes a lot of sense for me, because I was rewatching Heated Rivalry clips and hard related to Shane when he said how important to himself coming out as gay was, but also to Ilya when he said he "likes girls but also likes Shane".
I'm dating a woman right now, and to be honest, I don't know if our relationship will last - even though I really want it to and I almost feel like it was fate that we were able to meet each other. Coming to terms with being mostly gay was a hard realization for me since it also required me to become more confident and comfortable with my identity as a transmasc person. But no matter which direction I end up swinging in the future, especially after I begin T, I know I have what it takes to be comfortable as myself and live with pride. So expect me to either be commenting again in this sub or sending a goodbye post in a few month's time.
So yeah, here's to not being straight after all. 🏳️🌈