J'ai une question à vous poser: je m'apprête à déménager en Espagne, et j'aimerais savoir si l'un d'entre vous aurait des recommandations de chaînes YouTube d'actualité quotidiennes, du genre "Hugo Décrypte", mais en espagnol. J'ai besoin de m'entraîner avec la langue, et écouter des podcasts d'actualité m'aide beaucoup à enrichir mon vocabulaire. Merci beaucoup!
Don't get me wrong, I was aware that my relationship with food wasnt healty. But I always assumed that I was just lazy and didnt excercise enough. I did every single diet you could possibly think of, lose a bunch of weight, feeling awesome about myself and then gain It all back in a matter of months. Rinse and repeat. Since I was a teenager. I'm now 32 years old. I'm a grown woman, I'm getting merried in a couple of months, I'm exercising, eating healty, staying focused on an achievable goal... And then all of it goes out of the window with just One visit from my parents. I was unexpectedly alone for dinner and I started stuffing myself with everything that was around in my kitchen. Absolutely everything. I ate a bag of chips, a packet of cookies, a sandwich, beef jerky, 3 cupcakes and half a kilo of boiled potatoes... Nothing could stop me. I knew that I would feel awfull afterwards and that I wasnt hungry, but I NEEDED to eat, It was like watching myself from the outside, I was powerless. And now, liyng in bed awake because my stomach hurts, now I realise that I binge eat to fill a void in me that Is caused by axiety and depression. I realised that my family Is a trigger. Im not going into details, but it's heavy work being around my mum and dad. I knew that. Hell, I've been living alone since I was 16 just to get away from them! Why didnt I connect the dots?I feel so stupid. How could I not realise it before? But "It's just food, it's not that important" right? It's the veil metaphore, and I feel worthless for not having the clarity of recognising my behaviour for the past 20 years at least. How could I do that? Ignore myself for so long... What do I do now?
I'm Sorry for rambling, I just needed a space to vent and not having to face someone directly when putting all of it into words. I don't think I am ready for that shame yet.