Figuring out how to share more of my son’s origin story with him.
My son is 6.5. We adopted him through a private domestic adoption. We have an open, long-distance relationship with his birth mom. They FaceTime with each other and I share photos and updates.
We have always been open about the fact that he is adopted. For example, he knows that he grew in his birth mom’s tummy, that she realized that she couldn’t take care of him, and she picked us to be his mom and dad.
Recently, he has asked why his birth mom couldn’t take care of him, and I’m not quite sure how to answer. The whole story is that she had been arrested for drugs, avoided a court date and there was a warrant for her arrest. She was anticipating going to prison and wanted to find a safe home for her baby. At six, my son is not yet ready for a morally nuanced view of drugs and the carceral state. He is still in his jail is for “bad guys” phase. I don’t want to tell him anything that might cause him to think less of his birth mom or damage their relationship.
I would love if someone had advice about how to talk to him about this in an age-appropriate manner. The other option is “ask your birth mother” but I want him to know he can come to me for questions too.