Me(22F) literally was shocked after hearing what our mom said during and argument with my sister(18F).
The day before, my sister was learning a new trick about guessing the day you were born or smthg and my mom was sitting next to her. She was really excited and wanted to talk with mom about it and my mom was on her phone watching movie or doing some random stuff. She basically ignored my sister and didn't listen to anything she was trying to say. My sister got upset and didn't talk to her for the rest of the day. Next day while we all were siting in the living room my mom asked her why was she angry and my sister asked why didn't you listen to me yesterday. My mom got triggered and they started arguing, and blaming my sister for talking to her while she was on her phone.
I intervened and told her my sister was not angry she was sad that you don't listen to her when she talks. She became even more furious and the whole convo change to about how we use phones too much and we text so fast and even use phone in washroom( cause i played music last week while i was talking a shower in my bluetooth speaker). My sister was crying at this point and i was also on the verge of tears and then came the final blow, she basically said we shouldn't be too sensitive and emotional and upset over small things and never show anger or sadness! she'll listen if she want to and it doesn't matter I nearly gasped thinking how can a mother even say such things?
As for some context i am not emotionally attached to my mother , never in my 22 years of life did she ever ask how i felt, how my life is going nothing.. i feel like she hated me since childhood, she used to not talk to me at all when i was young and constantly get angry at me for things that my sister does, beat me and say some really bad things ( we were just kids back then yk sibling petty fights), she always took my sister's side. I did things to get on her good side, got good grades, stayed quiet and mostly kept to myself and ig that's why i have avoidant behavior now. she changed when i was in highschool she started becoming somewhat not angry at me always and things seem to go fine between us recently. I genuinely thought she cared but after what happened yesterday i doubt everything. She occasionally complains to my sister that i don't say anything to her, but guess what my sister finally understood why i don't. I was not angry at her after she said all those things but just disappointed and made me realize that i will never say that to my child.
So is it wrong to think of going nc with my mom or should i talk to her about everything(not a good idea she'll just say its my fault)? I do feel sorry for her and wonder why she is like this.
ps: nc- no contact