I wanna tell her about all the things going on and just hear her gentle soothing voice again. I love hearing her speak she has a perfect voice. She's so beautiful I miss her. I hope she's ok I haven't spoken to her in quite some time but now I'm blocked so all I can do is pray she reaches out for some reason.
I just bought one of the acoustics but it has since sold out but I want to access the photos and specs.
She didn't used to be like this I don't recognize her anymore. She would despise the person she's become. She used to not need to seek validation and she used to have normal boundaries and she used to be a sweet normal girl. She used to look down on people who did the things she does now and would've stopped associating with people who do the things she's doing.
I feel like a loser begging for her attention while she ignores me. God I hate being a fucking fan.
Why does she think it's cool to just ignore me if she's gonna talk to me at all. I feel like if you choose to be in contact either be normal or don't contact me at all. I think I'm blocked now as well. I wish she would just make up her mind. Things are how they were back in December 2024 when I was begging for her to text me and she would just thumbs up react to my message. Can't she see I care about her??? Why do all of my friends want to talk to me so bad when the one person I care about is allergic to me. This is eerily similar to finals week of last semester when I would have to do calculus problems for 8+ hours only to come back to an empty phone or an angry girlfriend. I'm going to throw away my phone istg. I'm too addicted to it I have to shut it off and put it on the ground to be productive. I just miss her and I wish she cared about me. I'd do anything to start a new chapter with her cause I feel like we could almost begin that. I wanna hear her say I love you again. She tells me to not say I love you and it's so hard. Every time we speak I just become overwhelmed with joy with how much I enjoy talking to her and care about her.
Im going to end it now cause this is too much to deal with. I can't keep doing this and the idea of another 4 years of school on top of whatever the future holds is too much.