Urge
So like, I get the most vicious urge to cut every so often. Currently coming down off of my antidepressants cause my prescription ran out on last Friday and not able to get to the pharmacy till Wednesday, so my moods all over the place anyways. But the thing is I’ve never cut before and I’m afraid, I’ve self harmed before ie ripping out chunks of hair and scratching myself till I slightly bled, but nothing compares to the desire I have. I see my friends with scares and I’m envious, I feel like the only way my mental illnesses will be taken seriously is if I have visible scars, I know that with actual scars comes with the discrimination or what not but my god man. I crave it like a cigarette but I have the pain tolerance of a ancient Victorian child, I feel like I’d lose control of a razor and then slip too deep and fuck myself over type of deal. Idk why I feel like this and I really wish I didn’t. But I’m wondering if anyone else feels like this too?? It’s so weird man