I was on the phone with my best friend while walking my tiny dog. I live in a city, but my street isn’t always busy.
A guy I don’t know crossed the street toward me and yelled, “Can I ask you a question?”
I said “no” and tried to go back to my phone call.
He immediately got aggressive, saying he just wanted to ask what kind of dog I had, and started going off about how disrespectful I was. He said I wasn’t even “cute like that” and got right up in my face. I tried to move away, but he kept following me and closing the distance.
My friend on the phone kept asking if I was okay. The guy got even more upset, accusing me of “talking shit” or “tryna say something.” He said he was tired of being stereotyped. (For context, he was a Black man and I’m a white woman.)
Then he got inches from my face and told me I needed to say, “I won’t disrespect you.”
At that point I was genuinely scared. I’ve dealt with weird people before, but this felt different. He wasn’t letting me create any space, and I was worried he might have a weapon or could hit me.
So I said, “yes sir.”
Then he flipped again and said, “NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME FEEL BAD, you don’t have to say yes sir, I’m just tired of being stereotyped. Don’t disrespect me.”
This all happened really close to where I live. I’m honestly shaken and worried about running into him again. He walked toward a nearby apartment building, so I think he might live close by.
What would you do in this situation? If I see him again and he approaches me, how should I handle it? Should I be more assertive, or is it better to keep trying to de-escalate?
I certainly won’t be leaving the house without my pepper spray again.