I (30F) live with my husband (33M) and our 2-year-old daughter.
For context, I work full-time from home as a software engineer. I take care of our daughter during the day while working, and handle general household stuff and maintainance since I own the home. My husband doesn't work as well as he has a record due to stuff that his ex framed him for.
Recently, my husband invited a few of his friends over to watch a game, along with his dad and dad's friend. I was fine with it, but it did mean I spent most of the day juggling work, childcare, and getting the place ready (cleaning, food, etc.).
The game went on into the evening, and by that point my daughter was overtired. She started doing that typical 2-year-old thing, whining, clinging, getting overwhelmed by the noise. I picked her up to calm her down while still trying to be a decent host.
At one point, in front of everyone, my husband said something like, “You don’t have to pick her up every time she fusses. That’s why she does it.”
I just said, “She’s tired,” and kept holding her. Then he added, “You’re with her all day, you reinforce it. She knows you’ll drop everything.” That annoyed me because I am working full-time while taking care of her, but I didn’t want to argue, so I just said, “I’m managing it,” and left it at that.
My sister was also there briefly when that happened (she had stopped by to drop something off) and had already said something like “she’s two, that’s normal,” so I didn’t feel like I was being unreasonable.
Anyway, as the night went on, my daughter kept getting more upset, and I was honestly exhausted at that point. The TV was loud, people were drinking and talking over each other, and it just wasn’t a great environment for her anymore.
So after the game ended, I said something like, “Hey, I think we’re going to wrap things up soon, she really needs to sleep.”
Most people were understanding and started getting ready to leave, but my father-in-law got annoyed and said I was “cutting the night short” when people were still talking. He said they could just move to the kitchen or keep it down. I said it wasn’t just about volume, she was overtired and I needed to get her settled, and honestly I was done for the night too.
He kept pushing, saying I was being rude and that it’s normal for kids to adapt to adults sometimes. I told him I wasn’t going to keep hosting while my daughter is melting down and I’m exhausted.
It got a bit tense, and eventually people left, but it was awkward. Afterwards, my husband said I made things uncomfortable and that I should have just let people stay and “not made a big deal out of it.” and that it was his event and his friends and he invited them and that I can't just end something he organized like that.
My father-in-law later texted my husband (not me) saying I was a bad host and rude.
I’m wondering if FIL has a point because my husband did invite them and not me. AITA?