My Husband 29M called me 29F a burden, how do I get past it?
Edit for more info:
I keep seeing a couple of the same questions, and a few people saying I'm lazy for wanting any help. So I want to give more context.
I don't ask him for help. My husband works a very hard job. He is a welder and works 12 hour days for 14 days in a row, and then off 2 weeks.
I only ever want him to help with the kids, I can manage the house. And not even really help just want him to spend time with the kids.
Also i know everything is saying leave or threaten to leave. I almost left. Right after he said it he apologized because he knew he messed up. But I was preparing to leave. I told him that and that is what led to us talking. But because of this I do have a way to leave if it doesn't get better and I have too.
Also my husband didn't except me to do his hair well or get mad at me. I'm the one who had those thoughts
However you guys made me realize how unresolved it is though so I will be talking to him again.
Original
For context we have two children 4 and 1, I stay home with them, and he works. That week I signed our eldest up for a camp that was a couple hours Monday to Friday for spring break. I dropped them off and went to do activities with the youngest. Each day I came home and did supper and I made sure to clean each evening. So I didn't wake up to a big mess. Getting ready and getting all of us out the door, can make a bit of a mess.
On the last day Friday, I will admit I was a bit more tired than usually and I ended up passing out and not cleaning that night. The next morning I got up and after dealing with the kids, I started cleaning.
Anyway it turned into a fight. My husband was upset with the mess of the house and the pile of laundry I was working on. He ended up really cranky at me, and we fought. And he said "you're just a burden".
We did end up talking it out over the days. We talked a lot, so I won't get into everything he said. But one thing that stuck out when he was explaining why he said it. He hoped it would motivate me to do better.
It's been a few weeks now, I didn't think it affected me too much, until tonight. He asked for help cutting his hair. I have never done it before in my life and I was very nervous. I did the best I could, which wasn't very good. But the whole time I was doing it, all that was in my head was how usually I am. It shouldn't be this hard, and I really am a burden and useless to my family. I can't even cut his hair.
Anyway I know it irrational, but I was hoping for advice on how to deal with it. How do I get over it. I don't want to think that everytime I can't do something.