For context, my (26F) boyfriend (26M) is in the army and based in Hawaii while I'm here in Texas. I'm trying to do all the things to preoccupy myself. I volunteer, I work out, I eat healthy, I hang out with friends, I have a great career but just not being able to speak to him or just a simple text in the evenings telling me he's busy after i consistently reach out to check on him is slowly crushing me. I'll be visiting in Hawaii end of May to see him and he took leave for it but it just blows. I understand the military comes first but I don't even feel prioritized in any sense. I feel like I always have to remind him about simple things so I'm just pulling back and trying to not even contact him at all until he contacts me. I'm tired of seeing my messages always on delivered or read. For reference, he works a desk job so it's not even like he's deployed. I get the schedules are hectic but so is mine and yet I find the time.
And before you criticize, yes we've met in person, we've been dating almost a full year come June, we've met each other's parents.
I just feel so lonely and forgotten about. Maybe this is just a vent session and I'm just frustrated but I want to be loved like I love others. I'm sure I'll get over it but this feeling of heartache is tearing me apart. I don't want to resent him, I don't want to be mad, I just can't help but feel that way.