u/Appropriate-Pool9290

Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective because my head feels all over the place right now.

I’ve been with my partner for over 9 years, and overall we have a great relationship. We get along really well, enjoy traveling together, share a lot of interests, and care deeply about each other. We’ve both been loyal throughout the entire relationship.

We got together when I was 24 and he was 28. I was still in the closet at the time, and I had very little sexual experience before him. He was my first serious partner and my first long-term relationship.

Lately though, I’ve been struggling with a strong feeling that I’ve lost a sense of independence in my life. I find myself constantly thinking about freedom, having more space, and experiencing things I didn’t really get to explore earlier in life, including sexual experiences and hookups with other people. I don’t necessarily want to lose my partner, but I do feel a strong curiosity and sense of “what I missed out on.”

Our dynamic is also very intertwined day-to-day. He doesn’t officially live with me, but he sleeps at my house every night, we have dinner together, and usually spend the rest of the evening together watching TV. He’s a great partner, but I sometimes feel like I don’t have much personal space or independence.

Sex is good at times, but I have a higher libido than him. I’ve tried bringing this up before, but it often turns into him feeling like he’s not enough or that he should just leave, so it becomes hard to talk about without things getting emotionally heavy. This has happened multiple times over the years, but 95% of the time things between us are really good.

On top of this, I’ve also been working for my family business for 14 years. I have a lot of responsibility there, long hours, and changing expectations. I don’t feel happy in that role anymore and want to leave after this season, but I also feel stuck because it’s family and I’m heavily relied on.

Right now I feel overwhelmed and conflicted. I’m wondering:

• Is my desire for “freedom” in my relationship connected to my work burnout and family pressure?
• Has anyone experienced something similar after a long-term relationship starting young?
• Has anyone opened their relationship or explored a threesome / non-monogamy after feeling this way? How did it go?

I’m not trying to disrespect my partner. I genuinely care about him, and I’m not making any sudden decisions. I just really need some outside perspective from people who might have been through something similar.

Thanks in advance.