u/Appropriate-Object80

Met someone online 2 years after leving my marriage. I was skeptical. He was younger and from a completely different world. He wanted anonymity, and I agreed. Things were great for about 9 months. He was kind, sexy, intelligent, and a complete gentleman, but from the beginning it was made clear that this was temporary. We would message each other all night, and most of the day. Our conversations were electric, and he always taught me something new. Of course I started catching feelings, and it was hard not to express them. He was in a low point in life, and I realized that I would be forever associated with his lows. He started talking more about it ending, and it hurt my heart. But as a woman I had to stick to the agreement. Our only way to communicate was Snapchat. It was my first time using it so the disappearing chats freaked me out at first. I knew there was no way that this could turn Into anything more than what it was, so I decided to unfriended him on Snapchat. What I didnt realize was doing that would delete our message history as well. As I said, it was the only way we communicated, and we didnt have any personal info on each other. So im sitting here, missing someone I never knew, who treated me better than all the other men I have dated, but with no chance of taking things further. He was the first person I had been with in 2 years, and now I dont know what to do. I dont want to date or attempt to find someone else, even though he would encourage me to get out and meet people. This past week has been a blur. And I dont know how to get past this.