AITA? [TW:SA ] I (22f) hate my brother's gf. We used to be friends back in our freshman year of highschool but she had a different friend group than I did so we drifted a part. Flash forward to Sophomore year and she has a little crush on my at the time bf but he wasn't interested in her. At some point in that year I revoked my consent during sex with that same boyfriend after he told me to turn around and suddenly got aggressive and sodomized me. He didn't listen to me when I told him to stop and I wasn't able to fight him off in the position I was in. Instead he held me down until he finished. I was crying and he has confused why I was crying but I just asked him to take me home (we were in his car ofc smh)
I didn't know it was SA at the time and I don't remember much after but that I stayed with him for another year. I waited for him to graduate HS before saying anything to anyone [He had previously threatened to end his own life if I left. So I was advised by my therapist to block and ghost him on everything; and I did, but it wasn't easy. This dude would show up to my house and to school and events he knew I would be at. It got the the point that I was having panic attacks and hiding when the pizza delivery guy had the same kind of car as my ex] and It was my brother's gf [They weren't together then, just in the same friend group] (let's call her 'Grace') who had finally asked about my ex, I knew she had a crush on him and I asked her to keep what I said between us and she agreed so I told her what he had done. I later found out that she hadn't kept what I said confidential, in fact I found out that she went and told my grapist that I was telling people I was graped by him. My ex then started making fake instagram accounts to message and harass me! and when I confronted her about this and she claimed she didn't tell anyone when she was the only person I had told. [I told her 2 years before my mom because honestly I was ashamed] I'm still trying to work through what I went through in therapy but now that 'Grace' is dating my brother she has 'forgotten' all about what she did.
I did tell my mother that my ex graped me and the whole "drama" a few years ago and she didn't have much of a reaction, she just said "ok" (My mom doesn't do well with emotions)
I don't like 'Grace' and everytime she comes over to my parents house, I lock myself in my room. That was alright for awhile but now my parents are talking about my brother marrying this girl and how I need to like her because everyone else loves her. I've tried liking her and including her in family activities but she just reminds me of the past and everything that happened. My mom loves 'Grace' and is always talking about her "grandchild" (Grace's cat). This month was especially triggering since 'Grace' and I share a birth month (although her birthday is in the end of the month and mine is in the begining) Most of my birthday celebration; my parents and brother were talking about 'Grace' and her birthday plans or what they're getting 'Grace' for her birthday (my parents have been signing gifts to her as "From Mom and Dad B").
I can't lie, I am jealous of how much my parents love 'Grace', but I feel so spited by them at the same time. Idk If I have a skewed perspective because I'm
🌟Traumatized🌟 or what but I would love some advice (I also haven't seen many people talking about other forms of SA, are they less common? please lmk)