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I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 and a half years. For context, his family is very religious, but also pretty dependent on each other in ways that can get overwhelming.
This situation is messy and needs background.
Over the weekend, I went over to their place. My sister-in-law Eva (13) has been cutting herself, which we found out about about two weeks ago. While that was already happening, my mother-in-law, 45, Jenna had gone out of the country to get her teeth fixed and left Eva at home alone for an entire week without supervision. Jenna doesn’t work and originally came to the U.S. for legal residency. She and her kids currently live with my boyfriend.
She has 4 kids total: Eva, a 13-year-old, a 2-year-old baby, and my boyfriend Jacob (23) and his brother Dave (20) also live there. Dave works full time and goes to college, and Jacob works two jobs 7am-10:30pm daily and is also in school.
My mom works for CPS, so when I casually mentioned I was going to check on Eva because she’d been alone and struggling, my mom immediately told me not to share any more details about my boyfriend’s family. She basically said she doesn’t want to get involved or report them for neglect because of how chaotic the situation is.
Meanwhile, my mother-in-law was out of the country during all of this, even going to the beach at one point, while Eva was left without proper supervision.
Yesterday, most of the day it was just me, Eva, my boyfriend, and my father-in-law (who is divorced from Jenna) helping with moving and cleaning. I don’t even live in that apartment.
Then this morning after I got home from a long night and was trying to study for my Anatomy and Physiology final, my boyfriend called me panicking. He said someone left boxes on the stove in their new apartment, and when the power was connected, it caused a fire. The kitchen is completely destroyed, and the ceiling collapsed. The fire department had to put it out.
All of their belongings are now essentially stuck in the damaged apartment, and my boyfriend’s family has to move again.
For context, Jenna has a husband who is her 1st cousin and 21 years younger, and they also have an apartment in Mexico.
I told my boyfriend that his family situation isn’t really his responsibility—it’s his mother’s. I suggested she should go back to Mexico for now while he figures things out. My boyfriend technically has legal custody of Eva, so she can stay in the U.S. to finish school, but they only have about a week to find another place and see if the landlord will offer any kind of refund or solution.
Right now, we’re all at a loss. My boyfriend still feels responsible for his mother, but I told him he needs to prioritize Dave, Eva, and himself first. Worst case scenario, Eva goes with her mom temporarily while things get stabilized. His mom still wants to live all together of course while she gets to live off of her kids and contribute nothing. Im so sick of this I told my boyfriend this isn't his responsibility at all. This is his mother's poor choices and also a horrible situation coming into play all at once
My boyfriend called and let his mother know about the fire. Her response? This bitch literally was like "ok we will TRY to go soon because your grandmother is getting her teeth fixed "
My boyfriend would try to go back to the old apartment but they told him they did not want him there anymore due to the amount of people residing in the apartment that broke the agreement. They basically never gave him an lease and turned a blind eye and told him hes never welcomed back. The finaly day to move out is set for tomorrow. We already returned the UHAUL.
AITA for suggesting him he should honestly just worry about himself and his brother and thats it ?