So I (20F) normally don't use reddit but I really need someone's second opinion that isn't involved.
Growing up, life had a lot of issues that aren't relevant to this but through out it all it was just me and my mom (41F) but that changed when I was 13 and she had my sister (7F). My sister has adhd and autism so she's is a handful which I will never deny but, it has seriously changed my relationship with my mom. Since pregnancy so much more then I could handle was placed on my shoulders when it came to taking care of her and then my sister since she was born, sure I understand bottle changes, naps, and dirty diapers are all expected as a older sibling but to this day my life revolves around her. I currently only can work 4 days a week because 2 of those days I have to do school for her and then I get one day (sometimes) to myself. This has been very rambling so ill cut to the chase, I used to go to therapy for how I felt and when I left I thought my relationship with my mom improved but recently my step dad ripped the bandaid and told me my mother actively admits she won't teach me life skills so I never leave and this has been fucking my perception badly. Everything she says feels like the rose tinted glasses has been smashed and I see what they are. For example she won't even say goodbye to me anymore, when she left for work today she reminded me i had to do child care tomorrow and walked out the door as I chose not to say anything. If I try to express how it feels like I can't talk to her about anything that doesn't revolve around my sister it turns into a fight I have to defuse which is exhausting, back when I was in therapy I wrote her a much nicer written letter then this is which was 7 pages and she read it and things changed for like 3? Days? After that right back to normal.
But this all said I just wanna know what my situation is and any advice? Being told the life skills avoidance has been really messing with my mental health lately and I don't wanna push my sister on to my partner or friends but I'm so lost mentally.