Post-breakup clarity
So I (24F) broke up with my boyfriend (22M) last night. I honestly had enough of him for a long time, but the main reason for it was because all I ever did was “wait”. Everything I needed had to always be under a “condition” - if I wanted this, I needed to do what he wanted, or how he wanted it, and lately what he wanted for me to do was just wait for everything.
Anyways, we had basically a non-existent sexual relationship. We’ve been together for 1 year and a half, and we’ve only ever had sex twice. In the beginning of the relationship, I was the only one who ever expressed desire and an interest in that area, and his responses always kinda disappointed me. He always had a few reasons to “excuse himself” from any kind of intimacy. We never even showered together. I told him this has been getting to me and I would like to talk. He said he’s very shy and nervous, so I suggested we take small steps, we don’t have to jump into it. He never took any small steps, and I was still the one putting in all the work. He also had a health issue in this area, but we don’t talk about that. We have sex for the first time about 3 months into the relationship, and he’s shaking so bad it only lasts for like one minute and we stop. The next time we attempt is like 1 month after, and even that one was hard, maybe 5 minutes max. Then ever since, nothing. I asked him if he’s asexual, he said no. I have asked him to figure out what he wants, because I need sex in a relationship, and it’s unfair for me to not have it if he knows he can’t/doesn’t want to/won’t work upon it. I’ve waited long enough and it got to me.
After one of those “wait” situations occurred, I snap and send him a text, saying I’m done and I don’t want this relationship anymore. He calls me, and he tells me just because I had a bad day doesn’t mean I have to take it out on him (his favourite excuse, that or me being on my period because he’s never wrong). I genuinely had so much anger built up from this guy I could NOT stop violently crying from all the anger I was feeling. We talk, and talk, and then ultimately, he insults me, saying “of course the fat b- is running her mouth. It’s not the first time I’ve said it. That’s also why I can’t have sex with you.” I hung up and blocked him.
I’ll be honest, I’m not the skinniest person, I’m also not obese though. When we got together I was around 82kg (i’m 170cm tall), and yes it’s surplus, but it didn’t show that much. Mind you I have also gone down from 105kg prior to this, so I was still losing weight. He’s always talked about how beautiful and sexy he found me, and now it seems apparently that wasn’t the case.
To me, it sounds like he wanted to get a reaction out of me, since most of the time every time I brought up something he told me that he’s insecure about or any issue he had, he denies it. I don’t know, he’s the weirdest individual I’ve ever had to deal with.
Thoughts?