for the first time in my almost full year recovering, i built the courage to go for seconds when i wanted it!! my dad made a super delicious ham & cheese tart and i fucking loved it so u best believe only one portion was not enough to satisfy me. one of the reasons i started recovering was because i wanted to have the food freedom to get seconds of a meal i liked, and im slowly aproaching there :)
just got back from a session with my psychologist and oh. my. god. this went terribly bad.
i told her abt smth that happened with my mom (yk, the usual, her commenting on my food but wtv), and she said (and i quote); "if u ever feel like u exceeded (as in weight terms), u can go to a nutritionist just so she gives u a meal plan and u can lose a lil bit but not put ur life in risk"??!!?!?!?!? ARE WE FUCKING KIDDING? is this not horrible advice to tell to ur CLEARLY disordered patient who is recovering? i do NOT believe in the possibility of "healthy" weight loss coming from a disordered past so this triggered me sm, but much more than that im so pissed off.
i know i have been posting a lot recently but i just wanted to vent xd
i have already told her that things like this make me feel bad aand she should stop, and she did for some time but now she has started to say shit again.
for context, i am going through extreme hunger right now, and yes, im eating a lot of cookies, spreads, really anything with sugar!! and im not mad about that, i understand why my body wants it. but, she keeps saying that im eating "too much sugar", "im making us run out of food", etc etc. and i dont know how to cope anymore. i have tried to convince myself that i know my journey and i know what i need to do to get better and she doesnt (even tho she is supportive most of the time), and trying my best to not relapse. but i just want to know what can i do to stop caring about comments like these, or how can i make my mom stop