I wanna take things further with this girl but...
So I've been in a bit of a confusing situation lately.
And when I say “further,” I mean hanging out more and maybe taking her on a first date — nothing intense, just the next steps.
I turned 18 two months ago, and recently my mom has been bringing up a lot of personal things she heard from my neighbor’s mom about their 16‑year‑old daughter. I’ve had a small crush on her for years, though I never told anyone.
Context
We first met when her family moved into the neighborhood. I was around 13, and we met at a summer BBQ. At first, I spent more time with her older brother, who was a year younger than me. Their mom has always tried to get us to hang out, so she often reaches out to my parents.
The summer I turned 15, I went to driving school with the brother, who was 14. That same year, their family hosted a Thanksgiving party and invited us. At the party, my brother and I hung out with the brother and his sister. During the night, the sister started acting a little flirty — she was easy to talk to, easy to make laugh, and honestly pretty charming. I didn’t want to make things weird with her brother, so I tried to keep some distance, but she kept following us around.
Toward the end of the party, I asked what grade she was going into. I assumed she and her brother were the same age, but she said she was in 8th grade and only 13. I probably showed that I was a bit thrown off by the age difference, and I definitely felt the “ick” once I realized it. Still, I ended things politely and said goodbye.
Two years later, when I was 17, my mom told me the girl’s mom had asked if I could tutor her in math. I was overwhelmed with marching band and honors classes, so I declined. After that, I stopped thinking about her as much, and the crush faded.
My Situation
I dropped out of high school during my senior year at 17 and started working toward a GED. Around March or April — after I had already turned 18 — my mom brought up the girl again.
She said the girl has been struggling in school and dealing with mental distress and depression, according to her mom. My mom mentioned my GED path, and apparently they didn’t know that was an option. Now they’re considering telling her about the GED so she might drop out too. This felt strange for a lot of reasons.
When I dropped out, I knew my life would change. Even though I was only 17, I suddenly had more adult responsibilities — working part‑time and studying for the GED — compared to a typical high school student.
I had already thought through whether it would be right or wrong to pursue anything with this girl. Before hearing about her possibly dropping out, I had decided it wouldn’t be appropriate. Not only am I 2–3 years older, but my lifestyle and responsibilities were very different. I felt like I would naturally have more social power in the situation, and that didn’t feel right, even though the age difference is technically within legal limits and we met as kids.
That conclusion helped me let go of the crush — until my mom told me about her situation.
Now, if she does drop out and pursue a GED, our lifestyles would be more similar again. It feels strange, almost like the universe is aligning things. She’s 16 and a junior in high school, and I’m 18 working on my GED.
I don’t know if an 18‑year‑old and a 16‑year‑old, both working part‑time and pursuing GEDs, is considered weird or inappropriate. I look younger than my age, but that doesn’t change the ethical question. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s wrong for me to have feelings for her again. I want to do the right thing, but I’m also lonely, and she’s one of the few girls who has ever treated me with genuine warmth.
Timeline
First met: I was 13, she was 10–11
Thanksgiving party: I was 15, she was 13
Through my mom: at 17, I hear she (15) wanted me to tutor her
I dropped out of high school at 17
Through my mom: I hear she may consider dropping out at 15–16. Im 18.
Now: I’m 18, she’s 16, and we may be in a similar position, is it appropriate to pursue her romantically?
Am I creepy for even having feelings for this girl? So many questions....