u/Apprehensive-West563

Is it even depression if it has an obvious cause and solution? Genuinely, I think I’m fine in 99% of ways, but my constant struggles with trying to get into a relationship or even just get any attention is driving me insane. I think about it 24/7, it sucks all happiness and meaning out of anything I do, I try my best to “solve” the problems that are preventing me from dating, I make new friends, am really social and go to parties and bars and shit all the time, I’ve gotten in better shape, I dress well, but I just never get any attention and everybody I’m interested in is in a relationship or not into men.

Perhaps I’m wrong with thinking that getting into a relationship would fix this problem, but I don’t think that I have any deeper problems like low self worth or whatever, I’m internally fine, it’s just I’ve never achieved anything I’ve sought after externally and it’s tearing me up. It makes me bitter and angry, I’m so jealous of everyone around me, I feel so easily hurt by the insults that are often flung at undesirable men, I can’t focus on things I need to do (holy fuck I need to be studying right now) because I’m too busy wallowing in a pit of self-pity, but every time I pick up myself up and try to be social or go to bars or whatever, just end up walking home more sad and angry than ever. I don’t even know who or what I’m angry at.

I don’t know, genuinely, so many parts of my life are great, but this one thing that I lack is so overwhelming that I can’t imagine living alone forever, that’s the real fear, so far years of trying has changed nothing, so why should I expect anything to ever change? I get why so many men fall into their stupid little holes of hate, not to excuse it, but it’s a lot easier to turn to hate, or self-hate, than to forever push through the nothingness that is trying to date and finding zero success.

I feel like I was born lacking something, I know so may people, and NOBODY puts in a fraction of the effort towards dating as I do, but everyone else seems to either stumble into great relationships or is a master at it. I can’t even imagine someone being attracted to me, which is weird, because I’m not ugly, I think I look pretty fucking good, but like, nobody has ever been attracted to me, to my knowledge, so why should I even think that?

I don’t know, I should probably talk to a therapist or something, but I don’t even know what they could possibly say or help me with, I don’t know what response I want from this post either, I just have to get it out.

Is it even depression if it has an obvious cause and solution? Genuinely, I think I’m fine in 99% of ways, but my constant struggles with trying to get into a relationship or even just get any attention is driving me insane. I think about it 24/7, it sucks all happiness and meaning out of anything I do, I try my best to “solve” the problems that are preventing me from dating, I make new friends, am really social and go to parties and bars and shit all the time, I’ve gotten in better shape, I dress well, but I just never get any attention and everybody I’m interested in is in a relationship or not into men.

Perhaps I’m wrong with thinking that getting into a relationship would fix this problem, but I don’t think that I have any deeper problems like low self worth or whatever, I’m internally fine, it’s just I’ve never achieved anything I’ve sought after externally and it’s tearing me up. It makes me bitter and angry, I’m so jealous of everyone around me, I feel so easily hurt by the insults that are often flung at undesirable men, I can’t focus on things I need to do (holy fuck I need to be studying right now) because I’m too busy wallowing in a pit of self-pity, but every time I pick up myself up and try to be social or go to bars or whatever, just end up walking home more sad and angry than ever. I don’t even know who or what I’m angry at.

I don’t know, genuinely, so many parts of my life are great, but this one thing that I lack is so overwhelming that I can’t imagine living alone forever, that’s the real fear, so far years of trying has changed nothing, so why should I expect anything to ever change? I get why so many men fall into their stupid little holes of hate, not to excuse it, but it’s a lot easier to turn to hate, or self-hate, than to forever push through the nothingness that is trying to date and finding zero success.

I feel like I was born lacking something, I know so may people, and NOBODY puts in a fraction of the effort towards dating as I do, but everyone else seems to either stumble into great relationships or is a master at it. I can’t even imagine someone being attracted to me, which is weird, because I’m not ugly, I think I look pretty fucking good, but like, nobody has ever been attracted to me, to my knowledge, so why should I even think that?

I don’t know, I should probably talk to a therapist or something, but I don’t even know what they could possibly say or help me with, I don’t know what response I want from this post either, I just have to get it out.