I’m 29M. I don’t know if this will make any sense to anyone here but as of late, I keep getting this weird feeling where I suddenly am exactly who I am but older. Like I’m still in first person but I feel like I’m 45.
Somehow it ties into me feeling like I’ve not yet achieved anything significant in life and there’s this intense fear this will be who I am even when I’m 45 or even at the end of my life. A life filled with always wanting to have done more but never actually achieved it. A life filled with regret.
As of the last few weeks, this feeling starts right where I wake up.
The thing is, it’s not that I’m not even putting in efforts. I stay fit, and I have a decent job. (I do have an unfortunate porn addiction and whatnot though)
Somewhere deep down part of me feels like I never actually grew up as well, which is why as several years have passed since college, it’s hitting me that there’s no “future” per se I’m already living the adult life.
And I know I can’t compare to others people’s highlight reels but I’ve seen so many people around me go on to start achieving real things. Like up until I was 25/26 everyone was somewhat on the same playing field. Now more and more people are doing such cool things that I’m feeling left behind. And it sucks cause I can’t do things out of abundance, I’m forced with this mindset to do things as a retaliation.
Not sure if I even understand my own thoughts but I’m hoping anyone else may have some ideas