u/Apprehensive-Road659 — reddlx

Context: I saw a Reply 1988 themed samgyupsalan near my place. Sent it to my ex because he was the one who recommended the show and it suddenly became my favorite every time i feel lonely and in need of a good cry. And yk on the side, hoping to reconnect again kasi nagkaroon ako ng realizations na mahal ko parin siya. Pero mukhang he’s over me.

I (F) broke up with my almost 1-year boyfriend because I got really busy with work. There wasn’t any big fight or falling out of love—it just felt like life got in the way. We were LDR and never met in person, but he was genuinely one of the most gentle, caring, and loving people I’ve ever been with.

After we stopped talking, I thought I moved on. I felt okay, like I could start over. So I met someone new here on Reddit, and we lasted like 3–4 months sa dating phase.

But lately during that period, I’ve been comparing him to my ex… a lot.

I keep thinking about how my ex treated me—how soft he was with me, how safe and “at home” I felt. And I hate to admit it, but the guy I’m seeing now doesn’t make me feel that same way. It’s not that he’s bad—it just feels different, and not in a good way.

The hardest part is realizing, I think I miss my ex specifically. Not just the feeling of being loved, but him. And now I’m questioning if I ever really moved on or if I just convinced myself I did.

I don’t want to cheat. GOLDEN RULE HELLO? So a month ago, i cut connection na with the new guy kasi it’s unfair to him naman kasi I know to myself that I’m not emotionally all-in. It was all good on the first months of dating. Pero my ex, we literally talked about our future together already. And it kills me na naghiwalay kami just because I was busy. And now na gamay ko na ang work ko, kaya ko pala siyang isabay sana. Naging mahina lang ang loob ko.

I wish I could take it all back. I wish instead of ending things, I used the future we talked about as motivation to stay and fight for us. It feels like I only realized the value of what I had after I lost it. Hays hirap naman pag hindi favorite ni Lord, palaging nag sisisi sa huli.

I just need to get this off my chest because I feel guilty even thinking this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months. Good thing sa fb lang siya at wala dito sa reddit. He recently got a job near my place, and since he’s from another town, he asked if he could stay at my place for a couple of days while adjusting to work. I said yes because in my mind, “a couple of days” meant temporary. But now it feels like he basically lives here.

I love him, but I honestly was not ready for that kind of setup this early. I’m a very introverted person and I really need my own space to recharge. Having someone around all the time in my own home has started to feel overwhelming, and instead of feeling relaxed in my own place, I feel like I can’t breathe.

What’s making it harder is that ever since he started staying here, I’ve been paying for almost everything. Pag sinabi ko na bili siya ng kahit ano (napkin or egg or noodles or whatever) sa labas which only costs like less than 100 pesos, hihingiin niya pa sa akin 😭 Palagi niya sinasabi na pag sweldo ko, punta tayo sa ganito my treat my treat bla bla bla, does that mean I need to pay for everything muna? Idk huhu this really bothers me kasi I also have bills to pay and I feel like I never agreed to financially support another person. And may pagka mayabang siya kasi, nung di pa kami plagi niya binabrag na “ako pag nagka gf ako dapat ako lahat. Ayokong may gagastusin siya kasi syempre as a bf kargo dapat kita” ganon literally when it comes to other guys, gusto niya raw siya nakakaangat kaya ginagawa niya lahat. Pero di naman siya nakakaangat sa ganitong set up namin. I mean gets ko naman na wala pa siyang pera i guess? Kasi kakastart palang ng work niya pero jusko ahhahahaha wala din akong pera😭😭😭

Now I feel stuck because I care about him, but deep down I know this is not something I signed up for. I want my space back, and I want my home to feel like mine again. Sobrang liit na nga ng apartment ko, only enough for 1 person and having him here, feeling ko sobrang sikip na. Di ako makagalaw ng maayos.