Assalamualaikum everyone,
I’ve posted on here a couple of times about my previous marriage, and honestly, I think I’ve come a long way. I went through extensive counseling and support therapy, and now the reality of my past is something I can manage pretty easily. If I’m ever reminded of it, it only takes a few seconds to process and move on. I don’t really dwell on it anymore unless it’s to remind myself what to look for in a future partner.
Overall, I’m confident that I’ve handled things responsibly and worked on myself. I’ve been consistent in the gym too—I benched 225 lbs the other day, and I’m slowly getting closer to that anime character build I’m aiming for 😂
Recently, I decided to put myself out there again and told my family, and they were really supportive. I matched with a few people on Muzz, and one girl in particular was very kind. We got to a point where she wanted to know more about my divorce. I probably should’ve kept it short—like I originally planned (2–5 minutes max)—but I ended up sharing more than I should have. In the end, it was “too much” for her to handle. She said she felt bad and wasn’t equipped to deal with that kind of trauma.
I could’ve explained that I’ve already worked through it, but honestly, I was okay with ending things there. Her reaction gave me a bit of an “ick,” and it also reminded me to be more mindful about how much I share early on.
There are still moments where I blame my past self for getting into that marriage, but I’m able to regulate those thoughts quickly and remind myself that what’s done is done—it’s all in Allah’s hands. I’m genuinely proud of how far I’ve come, and I know this is all part of the journey.
I also used to think, “I’m only going to marry a non-Pakistani,” because of my past experience. But I’ve grown from that mindset. Just because one person treated me a certain way doesn’t mean everyone is the same. I’m open-minded now, and I’m just hoping to find someone kind, no matter where they’re from.
Just reflecting a bit today, I realized a few things:
- I’m stronger—mentally and physically—because I chose to endure, grow, and let go at the same time.
- Don’t share 100% of your story until you find someone mature enough to understand it, and not confuse it with who you are today.
- What happened in the past is done—there’s no benefit in constantly revisiting it.
- I’m not too far from looking like Toji Fushiguro… just need to lock in on calisthenics and cardio so my future wife gets the best version of me 😤
Just venting, but also grateful for the growth.