u/Apprehensive-Bass223

The last 9 months have been hell, juggling the loss of my whole world going through family court, last Saturday got to much and drank ethylene glycol went to AnE ended up getting knocked out due to refusing treatment, been in hospital since, I had an MHAA a few days ago and was adamant I did not want to go back the the psych ward for the 5th time since October luckily got listened because autism and psych wards don’t go well together.

I was meant to go home the last few days as I everything had stabilised medically but after the stress of the last couple of days my job that I was long term sick from came to an end and family court stuff still pilled on I was terrified of going back home alone without the right support being a long weekend and my main support is office hours. They wanted me to stay until Tuesday so I can actually have a care act assessment which I have been waiting for since October and social services have been dragging heels even though I’m on the DSR, so that the in house social workers can do it.

I’m so glad I didn’t go home because even here it’s getting the better of me again, having thoughts of throwing myself of the 4th floor walkway I hate it everything reminds me of what was, I don’t think I’ll get better and I just miss my family so much.

Everybody asks me what can they do and I know the answer is literally nothing, my mental health was horrible even before the constant grief of losing my little girl and partner who meant the world to me.

I’d give it all up for just 5 mins of how it used to be, to be able to cuddle them both again but instead I destroyed everything because I couldn’t cope with losing them

Been struggling a lot recently ended up in resus refusing treatment for something quite dangerous, certainly didn’t expect to get IMd into a k hole so they could treat me.

I have to beat this it can’t beat me my daughter needs me

Since my partner/carer left my support needs changed so I put in a review and it took about a week from sending the form to getting the we have completed your review text not received the letter as again ended up in hospital but I checked the automated phone and it says my next payment is going to be approx 570, I put in a review as I cannot follow even familiar journeys without assistance of another person, the only time I have left the house is in the back of an ambulance in the past 9 months so I was hoping that I would be eligible for enhanced mobility so that maybe I could have a mobility car for when my PA finally gets sorted as everything fell apart and I lost my car when I stopped being able to work once my support network left.

Is there a chance that the automated system hasn’t updated or is it more likely that my award hasn’t changed and it’s enhanced daily and standard mobility which was what it was last time, we didn’t bother challenging it last time because we had a car and was working from home so didn’t see the point in pushing anything but the truth if it is I have only ever been able to leave the house with support due to distress.

I could count on two hands pretty the amount of times I would be able to leave the house and it would always be to familiar quiet places.