Hi, I really need some outside perspective because I’m spiraling.
Yesterday I went to a festival with a group of girls I’m not very close to (I had only met them once or twice before). Before the festival, we had drinks by the lake and everything was fine I remember that part clearly.
But after that, on the way to the festival, things get blurry. I know I was already very drunk. I remember talking a lot to random people and already feeling a bit embarrassing. Then we got into the festival around 10pm, and after that I basically have almost no memory at all. That means I blacked out for like 5 hours.
The only things I know:
- I apparently talked a LOT about my ex (we broke up 3 weeks ago)
- I even sent voice messages to a friend saying I missed him
- I added my ex on Snapchat at some point (I removed him when I woke up… he didn’t add me back)
- I gave my Snapchat to some random guy, but he removed me too
- I only remember one random moment of eating something, that’s it
We left the festival around 1am and I don’t remember that either. My next memory is waking up in the car back in my city (it’s like a 1.5h drive).
Today I sent a message in the group chat apologizing and saying I don’t remember much. Only one girl replied saying it was “funny” and told me not to worry, but the others left me on read. That makes me feel like I was probably super annoying or embarrassing and they just don’t want to say it.
I feel so ashamed, especially because I don’t even want to get back with my ex… and he must think I’m so obsessed with him so I don’t understand why I was talking about him so much.
I don’t have many friends, and I was kind of hoping to get closer to them, but now I feel like I ruined everything.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did I completely mess up or am I overthinking this?