My friend invited me on an overnight stay and let everyone eat in front of me.
A friend invited me to stay overnight with a small group recently. My car was unavailable that weekend, so she picked me up. Since it was last minute and she was doing the driving, I brought drinks and gave her gas money when we got there.
On the way there, she got a phone call and I overheard her ordering food for herself. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Later that evening, a couple other people arrived with takeout for everyone. One of the girls looked at me and said something like, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming or I would’ve gotten you something too.”
Everyone sat down and ate while I just sat there hungry and uncomfortable. Eventually I was offered a tiny leftover side item, but by then I felt embarrassed and awkward, so I lied and said I had already eaten earlier.
The next day, my friend called me and explained that when the food order happened, the other girl had asked if anyone else wanted anything. My friend admitted she basically told her not to worry about getting me food because “she can figure herself out.”
That honestly bothered me more than the food itself. I can’t imagine inviting a friend somewhere, knowing they came with me and didn’t have transportation, and then letting them sit there with nothing while everyone else eats.
My friend apologized, but it changed something for me.
Am I overreacting for still being bothered by this?
Edit/clarification: I want to clear up a couple things based on questions I’ve been getting.
The friend who drove me did not tell anyone not to get me food. She later explained to me what was said in a separate conversation between her and the other girl who brought food.
The girl who brought food had asked what people wanted, and I overheard my friend order a chicken sandwich (fast food). According to what was later explained to me, the other girl made a comment along the lines of not getting me anything because I could “figure it out on my own.”
On the question of why I didn’t speak up or say I was hungry: in the moment, I froze. I was sitting at a picnic table at a campsite watching everyone else eat and I didn’t know food had been planned or ordered ahead of time. I wasn’t thinking clearly about advocating for myself. I was just trying to get through an uncomfortable situation without making it worse or putting attention on myself.
As for saying I had already eaten, that came from embarrassment, not anything intentional. I didn’t want to sit there and explain I had nothing or make it awkward for everyone.