I’m 21 and basically never had a friend
First off, I have had social interaction through work, and I’m close with my siblings. But I’m never around the same people at work due to the nature of the job, and my siblings are all older than me and live very far away.
But I grew up homeschooled, my family had a lot of issues at the time, which I don’t mind talking about but I don’t want to make public on a post like this, but they left me alone for large portions of time during my childhood, like alone all day generally. I was homeschooled through highschool as well through a program that let me go to work and do my schoolwork afterwards at home, no socializing there either. I started doing MMA at 17, and I did meet people at the gym, as in people who knew my name, but never anything you’d call friends. I’ve never struggled with eye contact or making conversation, but I’ve just never been in a situation to make friends.
And now I live way out in the woods essentially, i feel even more isolated
I really feel like it’s started messing with me, I’m extremely insecure over the most nonsensical things and it changes all the time, i feel extremely alone and isolated basically 24/7 and i’ve fooled myself into thinking its deserved at times
I’ve felt really out of my mind a bit, super detached from reality. I cry at work when i’m alone, cry at home regularly, just sort of randomly. Right now I feel very good in comparison to how I have felt and its all a bit of a blur, so if anything i may make my feelings sound better than they have been lol
I don’t really even know why I’m writing this, maybe someone will relate. I HAVE made friends online I will say, and maybe thats more than some people here. It goes without saying that I’ve never been on a date or anything as well. Idek, this is really just a rant atp.