I’m in a situation right now where I know I messed up, and I’m trying to take accountability for it while also figuring out how to move forward in a healthier way.
Basically, I was dealing with a lot of confusion and hurt, and instead of going directly to the person it involved, I talked to someone else first. In my head, I thought I was just trying to process my feelings before saying something I didn’t fully understand yet—but from their perspective, it came across as going behind their back and being dishonest. I can see now how that broke trust and made things feel bigger than they needed to be.
They told me that what I did didn’t just affect me—it pulled other people into something that should’ve stayed between us. They also made it clear they value privacy and felt like I crossed a boundary by involving someone close to them. I understand that now, and I genuinely take responsibility for it. I’ve apologized, and I meant everything I said, but I can tell they’re exhausted and need space.
The hard part is I’m not coming from a place of trying to lie or be messy. I’ve been trying to get better at communicating instead of shutting down or overthinking everything, but in this situation, I didn’t handle it the right way. It turned into assumptions instead of direct communication, and that’s on me.
Right now, they’ve basically said to take time, move quietly, and figure things out on my own. And I want to respect that—but it’s hard because I care about them, and I hate knowing I hurt them or made things harder.
So I’m trying to figure out how to actually stick to no contact in a healthy way:
- How do I give space without feeling like I’m abandoning the situation?
- How do I stop the urge to keep explaining myself or trying to fix it?
- And how do I actually grow from this instead of just sitting in guilt?
I know I need to back off and let time do its thing, but emotionally that’s the part I’m struggling with the most.