Met someone great, but I feel… nothing. Is that normal?
I (F) am currently getting to know someone for marriage in a more traditional/intentional way. It’s my driest time. We've met twice so far and have had some conversations with family involved.
On paper, a lot actually aligns. We share values, have things in common, conversations flow, and he seems like a genuinely good, respectful, and emotionally stable person. There are no obvious red flags. Maybe he only said when he gets mad he might get louder. But he seems like a genuine chill introverted guy.
I just need someone I have chosen where I know yes that’s my husband he is different from other men and he is the one I chose not without a reason.
The problem is that I feel very… neutral.
I don’t feel repelled by him, but I’m also not strongly drawn to him. Sometimes I find him interesting, and we do laugh together, but I’m not sure if I feel that “pull” or deeper attraction. I also notice that I can generally get along with many people easily, so I’m worried I might be confusing basic compatibility with something deeper.
Because this is a more intentional path, there’s also a subtle sense of pressure — like I *should* give this a fair chance, especially since nothing is “wrong.”
At the same time, I’m questioning:
Should attraction grow over time in this kind of setting?
Is a calm/neutral feeling actually a good sign (stability), or a sign that something is missing?
How do you distinguish between “this is healthy but unfamiliar” vs. “this just isn’t the right person”?
I’ve only met him twice, so I don’t know if I’m expecting too much too early — or if my hesitation is something I should take seriously.
Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation.