My (19F) best friend (19F) who I will be physically close with doesn't love me the same way
She's my everything. We have had a close long distance friendship for around 3 months, but knew each other long before that. I'll be moving closer to her soon. She made me realize who I am, she is the only one who has ever cared for me in the way I wished to be treated all my life. If not for her I don't think I would be able live. And I started developing feelings for her. I was always open about this from the start, and she said that she might be able to return these feelings once we meet, but couldn't say yet.
I've never been in love before. My hopes grew higher and higher, I was thinking about her all the time. And one day I woke up to a text of her saying she might have caught feelings for me. I was so happy!
But now, my hopes are broken. She is pansexual, and I'm a woman. I always knew this meant the chances were bad for me, but today she told me more definitively that she doesn't think she can see me as a lover. I am so heartbroken, but I understand.
The thing is, we are still close friends. We still want to cuddle and sleep together, that's what I've been looking forward to most in life since getting close to her. Will these feelings ever stop? I love her so much, I want to be with her forever. She's the only one who's ever understood me. I just want to be able to be her best friend without thinking of more. I want for her to be able to talk about her future relationships without secretly being sad and jealous. I want to be able to hold her tight with the same kind of love she has for me, and not be internally crying that I can't do more. I just want to be happy with her.
I imagine the answer I will get is to distance myself, but I will not. I cannot bring myself to. Is there anything I can do to handle these feelings?