Complicated situation but we both want marriage—should we pursue this?
I (22F) and a 22M like each other and have mutual interest in marriage in the future. We are not trying to date casually—we are only interested in getting to know each other in a halal, respectful way with marriage intention.
However, the situation around us is complicated:
his sister is my friend
I previously helped a friend of mine talk to him
he and my ex know each other
we are Somali/Muslim so community opinions and gossip are a concern
He is hesitant because of how complicated it may look socially, while I feel we could still get to know each other slowly and privately with the intention of marriage.
My questions:
Are we being unrealistic trying to explore this?
How much should “people” and community opinions matter in a situation like this?
Is this worth pursuing slowly and respectfully, or is it already too messy to start?
If you were in this situation, what would you do?