How do you handle having to share a a child with someone when both you and the child are victims of their abuse? I have a baby with my abuser, and although he didn’t even want them and was awful the entire pregnancy, was abusive in every way to me and shook them as a baby and threatened to kill us all with a weapon, he is getting supervised visitation right now and I’ve been told he’ll eventually get graduated visitation and get to be alone with them. I absolutely hate this and I feel like the system is really messed up. I am trying to accept the fact this is the system we live in though and even though I don’t feel it’s right, that doesn’t matter to anyone. I still have to share this child with him. Personally, I feel like he’s trying to look good to the lawyers by doing the visits. He’s that kind of guy. Even with his other children when we were married, he would say he doesn’t actually want to see them but does “because he’s supposed to” and that if it were up to him he wouldn’t have kids, and he called his kids useless and wastes. He’s really an awful person who I believe is narcissistic or has some kind of other mental issues. But he’s very good at manipulating and charming others.
Anyway- for those who have had to be in this situation, knowing your abuser is still who they are, how do you do it? I know of parallel parenting, and parenting apps for communication eventually (even though I have a protection order now and can’t stand the thought of having to communicate with him ever again, ugh). I’m having a hard time even accepting all of this because I want my child to be safe and kept away from him and his family because they are abusive too. And I want to never speak to or see him again. I know I have to accept and prepare though, so any advice is appreciated. Tia 💜