I’m 17 now when I was 16 I got into a relationship with a 19yr girl I met online We had a lot in common and what started casually became serious for me. I had no experience but I genuinely believed she was the right person
At first everything felt good. But within a month things changed. She started talking about how she liked attention from other guys. Whenever I questioned it she fought with me and somehow made me feel like I was the problem
That became a pattern constant fights, blame, and me apologizing. When school started I needed to focus on my studies, but she kept demanding attention. I knew I was neglecting my priorities but I felt emotionally stuck and couldn’t pull away
Then she started talking about a guy she claimed was stalking her. I told her to stay away, block him, and report him. She didn’t. Instead she got closer to him, lied about it, and made me doubt myself again. Every day became mentally exhausting. I couldn’t study couldn’t think clearly. But things kept getting worse.
At home my mom found out about our chats. It broke her. I tried to explain everything honestly, but something changed. She wasn’t the same with me anymore, and it felt like I lost her trust.
One day something happened and the truth came out. That “other guy” wasn’t new she had been with him for three years and he had cheated on her. She admitted she got into a relationship with me just to make him jealous. That broke me completely.
Still I stayed trying to support her. She told me he had crossed boundaries with her, yet she never blocked him while she would block me for days. I started blaming myself and hating myself. I didn’t even confront her. I was too drained.
Also a thing that which she shared was she was r@p*d twice when she was 14yr old, she have unhealed trauma and she is just suffering from that even now. I just wanted to be a safe place for her and make her be comfortable and free and be a person who she can talk to about everything.
I also stayed because of what she told me about her life. She spoke about her cousin being forced into marriage and facing abuse, and said she was scared the same could happen to her. Hearing that broke me. I cared about her deeply, and I stayed because I didn’t want to abandon her.
Now I’m just depressed and don’t know what to do. Even after everything she keeps blackmailing me saying she’ll harm herself or end up in a forced marriage if I leave. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong by walking away like I’m responsible for what happens to her.
i can’t marry her cause of my own traumas, my father had cheated on my mom which she went against her own family and ran from home to get married in name of love. After hearing how much she hid and lied from from me, and my own trauma, i cant trust her anymore.
I thought of saying to any elder who can help but if anyone of her family got to know about all this relationship stuff then she would forcibly get married the next day me making her nightmare true
i really need genuine advice on what to do now, please anyone who have experience with this, please help me out here.