I'm just curious if anyone else has had this experience. I sh-ed intermittently from 12-17, and recently relasped unfortunately, at 20. Anyway, in the ~3 years I was clean, I still kept my blades. Came back to bite me obviously but I genuinely never thought I'd relapse, and even then, I couldn't throw the blades out.
I don't know what it was, because I was sure I'd never need them again, and it's not like I looked forward to a time I'd use them again. I had three years and a few months to get rid of them, but I didn't. The thought of throwing them out was weirdly distressing. Even though I've since relapsed, I want to express that I was feeling better the past 3 years. I got plenty of sharp things, all without even considering I could use them on myself, but I couldn't bring myself to throw out the blades I already had.