ok so, my best and only friend has terrible self esteem issues and i feel really bad about this but im starting to want to cut ties with her because of her behavior. she vents to me almost every time we talk (venting occasionally is fine, just not as frequently as she does) then gets snappy with me when im trying to help and inevitably say some of the same things i have said before, because i dont know what else to say, every time she vents she tells me "you cant help me, its pointless" but then she keeps doing it? also, when i am doing something nice for her, instead of accepting it and being happy she will tell me she doesnt deserve a friend like me and i should find someone else, which becomes this whole thing of me telling her for the 400th time that i appreciate her and love her. I really do, but it gets draining when she shoots down EVERY nice thing I say about her. she also acts super uninterested every time we are talking about anything other than her problems and im just tired of it honestly, she says she cares about me a lot then 2 seconds later acts like she doesnt want anytning to do with me. but this is a somewhat recent thing and she was such a good friend before this, so my reluctance to end it comes from me still caring about her because obviously shes my best friend and i hope she will stop doing this and get better. admittedly, i also dont want to be completely alone because i dont have anyone else, but if she continues to do this i just dont know.
u/Any-Presentation4381
im having a hard time figuring out what to do so i need an outsiders perspective on this. my best friend has very bad self esteem issues and is extremely negative towards herself, always making statements about it. i have been friends with her for 3 years now but it suddenly got worse and she has been venting to me a LOT about how she's terrible and has tons of problems. we talk about that more now than we talk about anything else, and i want to help her of course but most of what she says nowadays is a vent, and every other conversation we have she seems so uninterested and acts like the last thing she would want to do is talk to me, so i have started to get stressed out when i talk to her. i am always trying to be positive and try my best to help her feel better and see herself how i see her, but i get shot down every single time and told that i am just saying it to make her feel better :/ not only that but when i do something nice for her, she tells me she doesnt deserve me as a friend and i need a new best friend and it becomes this whole thing. sometimes i think about ending the friendship because its been months of this now, and i dont even feel like talking to her a lot of the time anymore, but im not sure thats a good idea because i have literally no other friends at all and i also just love her a lot and i want to be a good friend and help her. but i dont know, thats why i need a 2nd opinion
for reference i am 16, so im talking about people my age. i know that "fun" is subjective, but it seems like most people my age have the same idea of fun while mine is pretty different, and that makes me feel isolated and kind of alone because i cant be my full self around anyone and i am usually quite bored hanging out with people. basically, a lot of people i know like to do things inside such as playing games, watching movies, just talking or going to the mall, things like that; and while that stuff is still fun to do, thats all the people I know ever want. i want to do things like go outside (especially if it involves water, i love putting my sprinkler under my trampoline and jumping on it), do crafts together, make stupid videos and skits without worrying about if we seem "corny", make up stories with our own characters, etc. but people think its too childish or embarrasing and that makes me really sad, because i feel like my time is up to do things like that with others since the older i get the less and less people will have the same idea of fun as me (or at least, thats how it seems so far). i can do that by myself of course, and its still nice, but it would be even better if i had someone else to do it with, i would genuinely be so happy