u/Any-Imagination2830

Bf (20M) got me (23M) going through pre-heartbreak already. We knew each other for 4 semesters and ive been oblivious for half of it, but tbf im locked in on my studies, dating was not on my mind, but he asked me out last semester and this is the first person I got along with so naturally so I said fuck it we're dating. Fully knowing that at the end of next year hell be going from US to China for at least 2 years and traveling is not something im in the position to do I can barely visit my homecountry lol.

It sucks things are going well. I expected to be like it was fun but go have fun abroad, also for 21 be safe but have fun in general still. Like I was doing crazy shit at 21 when I wasnt dating. But nah hes talking about text me this when im abroad. Sometimes we're hanging out and he got me thinking about a future with him accidentally. More places to take him out gifts to buy him over time. All the talk about how wed be so much better off if we met earlier (especially talking about insane exes). Maybe honeymoon phase hasnt worn off. Or if it has then its like damn this person really is my boyfriend boyfriend.

Now we just get the depression of dealing with long distance during the hardest part of our education. If hes here in person I know ill make everyday worth spending time together. Im comfortable with like online calls and activities and all these ideas he has but im still scared of things fading out anyways. I just would have more confidence knowing we can do this if we got to start dating before. The timing is just so awkward. Neither of us wants to take a break or end it so we will just deal and find out.

Ive (23M) been working at a sports store for over a year now, and honestly its going great and the guys there are awesome. We do whatever and we talk crazy shit like conspiracies or hear me outs, or even just casual things that's interesting i enjoy listening to peoples interests.

One of my coworkers share Bible stories or make an reference to it time to time, honestly it does fit the conversation, and it does make sense, I know the stories but I also learn new things. Idk if they assumed anything im just here to yap or chill out, I dont get personal. Though I genuinly like learning about all religion, and dont mind if people want to talk about it any time.

But I guess no one really asked exactly what I was, until recently the one guy asked nicely, I think the guy was trying to figure out if im one type of Christian subsect like catholic baptist and whatnot. This isnt my blood family, this isnt a church event, im young but not a kid, so Im not here to lie. So i just answer as it is, "For me I dont believe in god", but I do get into what my family specifically is, since they do believe in god. I thought it was a chill interaction he was like "oh thats cool" and it was a good day but also ive been told that before by others in life and it was not indeed cool for them.

So yeah now it seems like almost everyone, besides the few girls that work there, arent talking to me the way they used to now. Even when I try talking about things not related to religion, same stuff we used to and I hear they still do talk about amongst themselves. I never bought religion up in the first place but I guess people assume if you listen and know about religion without judgement it must mean you are a believer. But also why they assume Im religious when I study physical science at the university, I know theres religious scientists (which is awesome when it isnt anti-science), but come on now lmao the signs were there. I ask if anythings up, everyone plays it off like "what do you mean" and honestly maybe thats not something to poke at then.

Anyways Im good I just wanted to rant. I work there because its a good part time job in general, I dont go into any line of work expecting to make friends. Ill continue chilling out there focusing on work/being on my phone during my free time. Its just a little wild to me that in this day and age people arent comfortable being around athiests if that is whats going on. I dont regret saying what I was, since outside my family (not trynna give them a stroke), I want to be open and honest about myself. I want others to be comfortable expressing their beliefs and know they can even be atheist or even religious if they dont "look it" or a fit a stereotype. Because maybe i didnt "look athiest" (who knows tho, I am curious and want to confirm but doesnt seem like id get an answer anyways lol). And i do want people to question theirselves for judging harshly someone they already know and hang out with. Like I didnt screw your mom why are you looking at me like I broke a bro code.

Theres not really any issue right now for me, I just need a void to let out thoughts that dont impact my day to day or my fitness goals but thoughts I just have.

This past month ive been working out consistently again especially getting back into calisthenics since its what I liked. But Im not over my whole not getting up or eating right lasted basically over a year. Especially when I already knew moving my body improves my mood like bruh I couldve done at least a bare minimum to where I dont feel like im starting from zero. Thank god I get by without meds for my mood because who knows how my body woulda changed.

I dont have a problem with my body when im not active but yeah it is crazy looking back at pictures from 2023 and rn in comparison i look like I did as a teen from the lost definition. Main thing is my posture i didnt even realize how much working out improved my posture, I cant wait to restore that lol.

Anyways yeah I know things coming up in life are natural and its all good as long as I just slowly try to do the things I want to ideally do and achieve, im not blaming anything, just releasing the anger that would otherwise cause me to blame me or the year and the people related to my past year. And honestly even with all the adaptations I made its not improbable that another rut still may occur in the future. Im not gonna worry about it but man I wont like it.