i’m really struggling here. the last few months, my fiance has been working longer hours to earn higher status at his job, and we’re getting married in august. both of us have been very stressed. but i think this continuing stress is leading my partner into a bout of depression.
i try so hard to help, be patient, etc. but my needs aren’t being met. i need him. i miss him. i’m stressed, too, and there have been so many people that have been letting me down surrounding our wedding, and i had hoped he would be the one to help me feel better. but he’s snippy. his mood is unpredictable. he often takes his frustrations out on me — ignoring me, outright shushing me because he doesn’t want to talk, complaining about every minute task i dare ask him to do. so i talk less, i ask less of him, i try to appease him but nothing works. the second something doesn’t go his way, it’s like i’m the worst person in the world. i just can’t take it. i know he’s struggling, but in those moments all i see is a child throwing a tantrum, and eventually i start getting snippy too.
my needs are being neglected, and sometimes i feel like i’m being punished when i try to meet them on my own or ask him to meet them. i am sacrificing so much of myself to help him, and it feels like it’s for nothing. i just don’t know what to do. i told him today that i think he needs help. he seemed reluctant to the idea, but maybe he’ll come around.