u/Anxious_throwaway0

I’ve had anxiety, panic attacks, derealization, and severe health anxiety since I was little. My biggest fears are being poisoned, having something incurable, and dying. Last summer panic attacks became terrible, but medication and therapy helped. I stopped meds in January and have been trying to manage anxiety myself.

Yesterday I met an old classmate/friend who is kind of weird and into conspiracy theories. He sometimes exaggerates stories and acts awkwardly (checking the clock, looking around, weird smiles, etc.). He invited me and another friend to a restaurant where he knows the staff.

I was already anxious and didn’t want anything, but he insisted, so we all got bottled sodas. The waitress brought sealed glass bottles and opened them in front of us. I only took one sip because I got anxious; both of them drank theirs fully.

While we were there, he looked behind us a few times and checked the clock, which triggered my anxiety. When I got home, I had a huge panic attack and became convinced I’d been poisoned. I had dizziness and nausea, but those are symptoms I’ve had before during panic attacks.

Reasons I think I wasn’t poisoned:

• Bottles were sealed and opened in front of us.
• He didn’t know what drink I’d order.
• My other friend drank the whole thing and is fine.
• He drank his own too.
• I only took one sip and it tasted normal.
• Almost 24 hours later I’m still okay with no serious symptoms.
• I even called him and directly asked if he put something in it, and he calmly denied it.

I barely ate or slept because I was terrified I’d die in my sleep if I had been poisoned.

Realistically, does this sound like severe health anxiety spiraling, or does any of this actually sound suspicious? I really need reassurance.

I know most fatal poisons show symptoms in minutes to hours, but I'm genuinely scared that maybe there was a toxin that shows symptoms much later or something, I know this sounds very stupid and stuff and I hope I'll laugh about how stupid I was in the near future.

For context, I've always been afraid of everything and had health anxiety since I was little, I've always had panic and anxiety problems, it didn't bother me that much until last summer I started having panic attacks which we're terrifying, but I've managed to overcome them with medication (sertraline) and therapy (didn't help at all, but it was nice talking to someone i guess), health anxiety became my major problem, still had from time to time some panic episodes but it was much better than daily panic attacks. I used to have derealization and other symptoms and I was so scared that I woke up shaking one night from the stress. In January I've went off my medication. I've still always had the generalized anxiety that I always have (anxiety 24/7), started combating that with the D.A.R.E. Method and it worked, I wanted to keep working on myself and my anxiety, I've made it my goal, but then I've made a relationship that caused me a lot of stress which I'm still in, my friends stopped calling me outside and started being scared because of constant flu like symptoms.

Now, to the main thing, I've always had this fear of being poisoned, being incurable and there being nothing I can do about it (also a very big fear of death). I have this friend, he used to be a classmate of mine and he is kinda weird (a little bit crazy). He has like crazy conspiracional theories that he's followed and stuff, he once ghosted all of my friend group because of a little incident, someone drunk called him and made fun of him and he didn't talk with us for months, only kept us on seen, but then out of nowhere he reappeared and he was insistent with going to coffee with him so he can compensate for the lost time (we haven't met back then since a few months). Me and another friend accepted but we we're like always busy and we we weren't able to go with him, until yesterday, my friend called him because we we're free and we we're near a local restaurant he goes to (the owner or something is a friend of him) and we went there, asked us what we wanted, me already into the edge of a panic attack said i wanted nothing but he insisted, finally I've decided to get a bottled soda and all three of us got one, the waitress removed the cap in front of us and even saw the condensed smoke like thing pop out, they began drinking and talking while I only got a little sip then didn't drink at all after, what scared me at first is he acted strange but that's just him, he kinda always acts like that like doing that thing with his hands or constantly verifying the clock and stuff like that, always awkwardly smiling, but what seemed a little bit strange was how he kind of threw his view behind us a few times (again, maybe he was just looking at something and also since a friend of his works there, maybe he was looking at him) and also checking his clock (which again, he only did like on or two times). He also has this lying thing where he over exaggerates scenarios and stuff to make him appear better (for example, that he had sex with I don't know how many women or that he is untouchable that he knows people, has relations everywhere or something (no proof of anything, but he is weird)

When I got home, I got a horrible panic attack, I even thought it was from being "poisoned", but then I realized it was only panic, with just very dizzy symptoms, but that lasted a minute or two and I've had in the past something similar in a panic attack, it usually happens when the overthinking is through the roof and there really is a lot of fear. The evidence that I have against the fact that I was poisoned are the following:

- He couldn't have had any idea before what drinks we we're going to order;

- That's a legit restaurant and the waitress brought us the drinks;

- The drinks we're made of glass and they we're literally brought to us and opened, they we're cold and had that condensed smoke/air;

- How mad could have he got at one of us over that, I usually know him as a calm person (only once when he punched another classmate of mine for touching him at the groin area);

- My other friend is okay with no symptoms and he drank the whole thing;

- This guy I'm talking about also drank his whole bottle (only way of discarding of the poison if he had something would have been by vomiting it)

- I've only taken one sip that tasted normally, felt nothing strange afterwards;

- I'm okay, after nearly 23 hours, only got panic symptoms and a little bit of nausea that started in the evening at 20:45 - 21:00 yesterday (the incident happened at 13:45) which i still have a little bit right now but with no vomiting or other symptoms and I've also had this random nausea for some time before because I was eating junk so it's not necessarily something new, also I've done research and most fatal poisons show symptoms within hours, you don't just randomly die after nearly 23 hours with no symptoms, but can someone reassure me on this part as well?

- I've literally called him and asked if he put something in there...he said that no, that he wouldn't do something like that, that our other friend also drank and he is fine, when I asked him what was the worst thing he would do to a person at the moment if he had beef, he said nothing because he doesn't want any trouble and also he didn't crash out or something like "how can you accuse me of something like that" type shit, he said that he sometimes hanged out with bad people and was also afraid of something like that, we ended up chatting more, talking about stuff then we ended the call.

- Poisoning symptoms usually start by now, nothing for 23 hours besides a little bit of nausea that I already usually have is reassuring? (hit the 23 hour mark since it happened right now)

The little things that scare me:

- I don't know what's in his head;

- The fact that he knows people who work there and also that time he moved his view a few times;

Do y'all think I was poisoned or anything like that? I really need reassurance right now...my biggest fear is being poisoned with something incurable and also a big fear of death, but again I need reassurance. I genuinely hope I'll laugh about being so naive and so scared in the first place in the future...and also I'm still wondering why was I such an idiot to accept to take that small sip if I knew I would end up panicking so much, I've literally eaten only in the morning yesterday because of the fear that if it was something it would have been harder to detect if I ate something and I didn't want anything to produce me vomiting, stomach pain or something because I wanted to be certain there are no symptoms of poisoning, I've literally kept myself awake and only got a few hours of sleep only because I was afraid if I was in the end poisoned that it will take effect and die in my sleep...I just need reassurance.