u/Anxious_Fish_7995

I don't know how to integrate the worst parts of my shadow. I have attacked others in moments of explosive rage. That is not who I am throughout the rest of my waking life. It happens as a reflex, not a conscious act. I've been meditating and journaling looking for clues, but I can't find the source. Life has me under immense pressure currently for a multitude of reasons, and I am terrified of an explosive event.

Any & all assistance or insight is welcome. TIA

Some of the best musicians to ever step foot on a stage with a message far more important now than it was 30 years ago

The one thing I can say the enlightenment I've managed to obtain has brought me is sadness. I see the majority of people blindly hurting themselves, the people around them, the earth & all living things in pursuit of material things & status, completely cut off from all that connects us to each other & everything around us.

I want off this rock, and i dont really care what comes next. I feel like I don't belong. Not that I'm better or more than anyone else. It's more like I've been at a party all night, isolated bc I don't relate to any of the conversations going on & it's just time to go.

Any insight or suggestions?