u/Anxious_Estimate1674

my bf and i have been together for 5 months. this isn’t a long time and i know that but i am 11 weeks pregnant with his baby and we were watching a show that mentioned a woman being with a man for 8 years and they aren’t married. i was shocked and said i couldn’t be with someone longer than 3 years without marriage because i feel at that point you should know if the person you’re with is someone you want to spend your life with. he completely disagreed and doesn’t see marriage as something that’s important or what he wants in the near future. i have always dreamed of being married in my twenties and having a child after marriage and i’ve already had one part of that changed so it was heartbreaking to know that my boyfriend won’t ever want to, or at least not in the near future, want me to be his wife. i’ve always dreamed of the proposal and the wedding, it’s a huge part of what i’ve dreamed for in life and so many of my dreams have already been altered or destroyed because of this pregnancy (don’t get me wrong, i am grateful for the baby and happy to have it) so it’s incredibly difficult for me to understand that i won’t be someone’s wife with their child, i won’t even share the last name as my partner and my child. in a relationship where i wasn’t having their baby this would be a huge deal breaker to me but i have to stick with his decision because of our baby. i’ve always had strong views on marriage and children and wanted my baby to be christened (i’m a christian but my bf is not) which i can’t do unmarried. i want him to understand and see that this is a huge thing for me and be at least willing to see my side to this but he won’t. it breaks my heart that the person i am inevitably having in my life forever is someone that may never be my husband. i just don’t know what to do or how to make him see how important this is. so the question is, can i change his mind or is this something i have no control over?