How to get over FWB?
Two years ago I started having my first sexual encounters and was just experimenting a bit. Then I found this older gentleman, let's call him Ralph, who was in a open relationship and was super hot. Over the course of many months something super weird developed where we met each other almost once a week, for over a year straight. Just to have good sex, sometimes cook dinner and talk - almost every time around the same time at my place. Sometimes we even went for a walk and after having sex he stayed for a while and we cuddled until we fell asleep on the sofa. We also messaged each other the whole day when we didn't see each other. He was basically a big part of my life.
As I said, this went on for a long time and of course, I somehow developed feelings for him. He was just the most caring person ever and the sex was extremely good. But I knew that this had no future - he had a bf and I was trying to find someone to share my life with - not just once a week in my apartment. We talked often about it and he also wasn't sure how to label our special relationship. It was somehow more than a FWB, we were like soul mates. At one point when we were having dinner together I even started crying because I was so overwhelmed of my feelings, not sure where things are going and how my future will look like.
Then in the middle of last year I started dating someone, I will call him Tom here. He was a lot different than Ralph but over the months we fell in love and I knew he is someone I can have a future with. The thing with Tom is that our sex isn't that great and he doesn't want to have sex as often as I do. This is something I can live with because I love spending time with him, I love his character, his silliness. But every now and then I am thinking of the evenings I had with Ralph. Which make me feel extremely heartbroken, sad and nostalgic.
And I know it's stupid because now I found someone to spend the rest of my life is but my brain keeps bringing back these old memories I had with Ralph. I just hope that with time it will be better.